Given the year that Rihanna has had (do I really need to recap?), few people would blame her for making a dark, snappy album that isn’t interested in charming listeners. And with Rated R, the Barbadian singer has done exactly that. But there’s another level to this record, one where it seems like Rihanna is trying to make a point or prove something, but subject is muddled. This lack of focus coupled with an emphasis on dreary low tempo numbers takes what might have been a thrilling record of overcoming adversity and turns it into a tedious, distracted self-reflection.

Before continuing, let me get one point out of the way; Rihanna doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone. The only mistake she might have made was putting up with Chris Brown for as long as she did and letting it get to a point of violence. But there’s no need for any redemption out of her. And yet, often on Rated R it feels as though Rihanna is trying to do just that. “Rockstar 101″ (which apparently features Slash, though his contribution is so bland I wouldn’t have noticed had it not been tagged thus) is an edgy anthem of larger than life attitude, but it doesn’t really tell us anything we didn’t already know; girl’s got swagger and is stronger than we know. Likewise “Hard” is bumpy club track where Rihanna lets her ego shine. But is all this posturing really necessary? Just by coming back, isn’t Rihanna showing the world just how tough she really is after all the struggle?

On the opposite end of the spectrum, Rated R also features the singer pondering her damaged state, and the results are mixed. The two strongest songs here are first single “Russian Roulette”, which has only gotten better since its debut, and its follow-up track “Fire Bomb”, a slow burner that breaks into a beautifully harsh chorus. Both tracks have Rihanna thinking back on her troubled relationship with Brown, and do so in a way that’s both meaningful and musically interesting. But they’re the rarity. Other moments don’t work nearly as well, with “Stupid in Love” sounding more like a 17-year-old girl’s diary than anything else (In fairness, Rihanna is my age, and I know many people my age who act more like 17). And of course, leave it to a Black Eyed Pea to ruin something that might have been fantastic; “Photographs” is a touching, albeit upbeat, look back that tugs at the heartstrings…until will.i.am breaks it down in a manner that completely undermines the emotional content of the song.

Here’s the problem; at the end of Rated R, you’re not sure which side of the fight between strong woman and brokenhearted lover Ri comes out on. You might say both, in which case the album comes off uneven, since the latter clearly gets more of the musical landscape. In truth, I’m not sure Rihanna knows the point of the record, which highlights the muddled nature of the album. I almost hate to do it, but Rated R reminds me in many respects of Kanye’s 808’s and Heartbreak. Both albums were noticeable departures from the artist’s “sound” after traumatic and unfortunate events, but both had fatal flaws that got in the way of an otherwise noble and committed project.

Final Score: 5.9/10
Rihanna – Fire Bomb [iTunes] (YSI)

Artist: The White Stripes
Album: Icky Thump
Release Date: June 15, 2007

This was the first complete White Stripes album I heard, mostly on the grounds that it was the first one that had two fairly straightforward rock singles I could get behind. It was also the first time I felt like Jack White stopped being pretentious long enough to make a strong batch of songs. I’ve since realized that I was wrong because a) White will never stop being a bit of a pretentious jerk, and b) OK, Elephant was pretty damn sweet, too. Anyway, Icky Thump dropped the sort-of gimmick of making kickass rock music with as little as possible and went for broke, employing brass, strings, and bagpipes to fill out some tracks. But the best songs are still the ones where Jack White shreds and feedbacks his way through Meg White’s impenetrable backbone beats. Fans of “old” White Stripes will probably call this album a sellout or any number of other things to lessen the value of its accessibility, but good music is good music, and Icky Thump is a damn fine piece of music.

The White Stripes – You Don’t Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You’re Told) [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

Artist: The Nightwatchman
Album: One Man Revolution
Release Date: April 27, 2007

Usually if a contemporary artist wants to drive home a point, especially one containing a social or political message, that message is accompanied by crunching guitars and ham-handed declarations cranked up to 11. Leave it to Tom Morello, guitarist for Rage Against The Machine, to turn that on its head. One Man Revolution is an album built on the rage and frustration Morello’s kept bottled up for who knows how long, but musically its got more in common with Bob Dylan and the 60’s folk singers of yore. Instruments beyond Morello’s voice and guitar are few and far between, and rarely does the album present much in the way of catchy tunes. Comparing The Nightwatchman to Dylan presents any number of flaws, mostly on the grounds that Dylan was far more effective in delivering his message. One Man Revolution is just tuneful and musical enough that the common-man lyrics don’t always resonate. But at the same time, tracks like the title song and “Union Song” are terrific anthems of relentlessness and perseverance. Rest assured that Rage Against the Machine were a far more exciting act, but Tom Morello has something to say too, and his words are well worth hearing.

The Nightwatchman – One Man Revolution [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

Artist: Fall Out Boy
Album: From Under the Cork Tree
Release Date: May 3, 2005

It’d be easy for me to cut Fall Out Boy to pieces in this post, since it’s both the cool thing to do these days and it’d be in the context of this album, quite possibly their weakest one to date. But I won’t. Because I remember buying this album on CD in high school, when my family had a traditional Saturday morning trip to Borders (who still sold music at that time), and I remember liking it, and I remember a bunch of my friends being jealous of the fact that I had the album before they could get it (the exact reason why that was is lost on me). Yes, its paint-by-numbers pop-punk, but also remember that in 2005, Fall Out Boy were more or less the standard-bearers for the genre. Listening to the album now, it sounds terribly dated, and I have a feeling Fall Out Boy will be joining Lady Gaga and Twilight on that list of Things From The 2000s Whose Popularity No One Can Explain or Justify. But alas, it’s still a strange phenomenon I’m proud to have had in my lifetime, and I’ll keep blasting this album, judgment be damned.

Fall Out Boy – Sugar, We’re Going Down [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

This one’s for my brother, who’s a fan of the CBS sitcom The Big Bang Theory. I feel like I, too, would be a fan of this show if a) my roommates didn’t hijack the TV Monday nights so they could watch football and/or House, and b) if my schedule in general allowed for more TV watching. Anyway, the Barenaked Ladies perform the theme to the show, and a few months ago they did an extended version of said theme. Now, here it is, your Moment of Zen:

Barenaked Ladies – The Big Bang Theory [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

I owe you guys a ton of reviews this weekend, and since I’m pretty sure this is the one your most interested in, we’ll lead off with it:

The very image that the mind associates with the words “crooked vultures” should have given excited listeners a clue as to what to expect from the supergroup featuring Dave Grohl, John Paul Jones and Josh Homme. Perhaps everyone was too excited about the names involved to think about that fact. But with the group’s self-titled debut, Them Crooked Vultures cut the leash off of a beast, a twisted freak of rock n’ roll nature. All hyperbole aside, you have never heard something quite like Them Crooked Vultures. Three of the best living rock and rollers have joined forces to make a primal, adrenaline-fueled thrill of a record that waits for no one, has no desire to wait for you to “get it”, and stops only when it says it’s time to stop.

From the initial pounding drums of “Nobody Loves Me & Neither Do I”, Them Crooked Vultures make their intent perfectly clear. They are going to bone your eardrums violently and with great passion, and they’ll only let you rest when they’re satisfied. Fans of modern rock radio take heed; Them Crooked Vultures hands you next to nothing on a silver platter. As much as I love the Foo Fighters and Led Zeppelin, from whence TCV get their drummer (Grohl) and bassist (Jones), those bands’ catalogs are a far cry from what is presented here. This album is heavy both in terms of its volume and sound as well as its depth. The hooks and crevices into which one can sink teeth into the record are buried beneath layers of crunchy riffs and twisted melodies. Josh Homme’s guitars carry huge loads here, moreso than in Homme’s day job with Queens of the Stone Age, and vocally there’s no easy stretch to be found. Single “New Fang” and “Mind Eraser, No Chaser” are the most accessible Them Crooked Vultures gets, and both numbers are busy, ferocious tracks. Indeed, those looking for some music to tune out will find themselves chewed up and spat out by the Vultures.

But this is a supergroup, and Homme has help letting this sonic Frankenstein* loose. Back in his natural habitat behind the drum kits, Dave Grohl is a kid in a candy store. The aforementioned “Nobody Loves Me” and the disco-flavored “Gunman” feature Grohl creating a hell of a backbone on which Jones and Homme build, while also letting Grohl cut loose. The Nirvana drummer and Foos frontman is in rare form here, getting to tear through turbulent rhythms rarely seen in Nirvana. The relentless crashes and center-stage hi-hat on “New Fang” sound almost…dare I say it?…Bonham-esque, showing the dude isn’t afraid to show off to his hero on the bass. Meanwhile, John Paul Jones isn’t just some guy in the corner here. Led Zeppelin’s four-stringed wonder gets his share of the spotlight, too, providing goofy interludes and solos to cap off the album on “Spinning in Daffodils” or the aptly named “Interlude with Ludes”. Jones tends to blend nicely with Homme’s guitars, and thus his contributions sometimes get lost in the sonic wreckage. But even when Them Crooked Vultures get ahead of themselves, the result is ballsy, reckless fun with no apologies.

Some might describe the beats, licks, and grooves of Them Crooked Vultures with the word “sexy”. I disagree wholeheartedly. “Sexy” is being at the club and watching the girl dance from afar while you keep the drinks coming. Nothing about Them Crooked Vultures is that distant or longing. This record is about what happens after you’ve talked to that girl, charmed her, won her over, gone back to her place and closed the door to her bedroom. Them Crooked Vultures isn’t “sexy”; it’s carnal. Never has the phrase “sex, drugs and rock n’ roll” been more aptly appropriated than to this band. Them Crooked Vultures kicks down the door, takes what it wants, has its way with you, and leaves you broken on the floor, begging for more. In short, it is an intense, ferocious portrait of rock n’ roll hedonism at its absolute finest.

Final Score: 9.6/10
Them Crooked Vultures – Mind Eraser, No Chaser [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

*Yes, I know Frankenstein was the doctor and the monster didn’t really have a name, but work with me here, eh?

Artist: Aerosmith
Album: Toys in the Attic
Release Date: April 8, 1975

I’ve been looking for a way into the ongoing mess that has been Aerosmith these past few weeks, and everything I’ve read and heard about it has held this album up on a pedestal, so here we are.

My generation has a bit of a tainted view of Aerosmith. The biggest things they’ve done in the two decades I’ve been alive are the commerical juggernaut of Get A Grip and that fucking atrocious song from Armageddon that played at every dance I had from 7th grade on (I slow danced to that song at least 3 times in my life. Ugh). Then there’s Just Push Play, which I didn’t hate, but apparently everyone else did. So for anyone my age news of Aerosmith’s woes and Steven Tyler’s antics are met with either shrugs or hallelujahs. Honestly, I could care less either way. Aerosmith kind of fall into the same category as the likes of KISS and The Rolling Stones; artists who had a good run, but don’t quite get that said run ended a long time ago. Seeing and hearing Steven Tyler perform now seems just a little sad, a depressing mix of plastic surgery, an aging voice and lack of self-awareness. It’s unlikely to happen since bands like Aerosmith are too stubborn and too used to the limelight, but were Aerosmith to ride off into the sunset in the next year or so, I suspect they’ll still be able to go out with dignity and respect from their fans and their peers, who remember Toys in the Attic as a terrific helping of what made them great in the first place.

Aerosmith – Sweet Emotion [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

Artist: Steven Sater (Book & Lyrics), Duncan Sheik (Music)
Album: Spring Awakening
Release Date: December 12, 2006

Once upon a time I had planned to do a week full of Broadway soundtracks. Then I remembered that I have very low tolerance for Broadway musicals and that by Wednesday of that hypothetical week I’d want to cut my ears off. So instead expect a smattering of musicals in the remaining weeks of the project.

It’s hard to quantify what it is that bothers me about musical theatre, and since this blog isn’t meant to be my memoirs, I won’t waste time with my personal background and how that relates to my dislike. Let’s leave it at the fact that there are too many people in this world who think musicals are the be-all-end-all of theatre, who worship every well-hyped musical until its beaten into submission and uncoolness. Spring Awakening is headed down that road all too quickly. It quickly found favor amongst fans of theatre, and then it got that obnoxious fanbase of quasi-theatre people who think its the best. thing. EVER. (Fact: these are the kind of people I blame for the sudden uncoolness of Rent). Then the suits saw a potential goldmine, and now McG is slated to direct a film version.

It’s a shame, because there are a lot of things about Spring Awakening that combat my general hatred for musicals. It’s got a soundtrack that is predominantly composed of guitar, drum and bass, but it’s also pretty clearly theatrical music, lacking in big hooks and choruses that lend themselves to MTV. The fact that I listened to the soundtrack and felt like something was missing means that there are moments where people on stage may have to, you know, act. And most importantly, the adult subject matter (song titles include “The Bitch of Living” and “Totally Fucked”) mean that it’s out of reach for the countless obnoxious high school theatre kids who all want to beg their drama teachers to do Spring Awakening at their school. In short, Spring Awakening works well as both a musical, and as a half decent alternative rock album.

Spring Awakening – I Believe [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

Artist: Modest Mouse
Album: The Moon and Antarctica
Release Date: June 13, 2000

I’m not going to lie and tell you that I’m the biggest Modest Mouse fan. Hell, before earlier this year I hadn’t even heard any of their stuff beyond their recent radio singles, which were alright, but nothing special. Listening to The Moon and Antarctica right now, while I hear what it is that people like about the band, it’s not exactly my thing. They score big points in my book for having a sound that can’t be easily whittled down. The Moon and Antarctica is unpredictable, and it makes you think. It’s frantic, it’s melancholy, and above all, it’s thoughtful. Rest assured, this is one that I’m going to be revisiting repeatedly in the near future to try to wrap my head around.

Modest Mouse – Tiny Cities Made of Ashes [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==

Artist: The Calling
Album: Camino Palmero
Release Date: July 10, 2001

There’s plenty to dislike about The Calling, and Camino Palmero. It’s cookie cutter pop-rock, Alex Band’s voice is the low-point of the headcold-stricken-singer fad from the early 00’s (thank you, Scott Stapp), and there’s absolutely nothing that separates The Calling from several more worthy bands. Even as I listen to the record now, I realize it more than kind of sucks. But it forever holds a tiny spot in my universe.

Camino Palmero was my first “I knew them before you did” moment. It’s not entirely the truth, since I first heard the band’s hit single only mark on history “Wherever You Will Go” on what was then Mix 95.7 (WMWX-FM) in Philadelphia, so several other people knew about The Calling then too. But at the time, a 12-year-old TJ thought he had struck gold. The song inexplicably struck a chord with me, and I had to hear it again and again and again. I found a copy of the song using Liquid Audio, one of the many audio clients in the pre-iTunes dark ages of legal music downloading. It quickly became a favorite, though no one else my age had any idea who I was talking about.

Then one day as I sat watching Total Request Live back in the day when TRL stood for something AND featured Carson Daly, I heard Daly announce that a new band was breaking its way into the Top 10, a group from Los Angeles known as The Calling, and the opening chords from “Wherever You Will Go” rung out. I went nuts. My little baby had finally hit it big! This was cause for celebration, right?

Well, at the time yes. But since then? Whoa. The Calling fell apart lightning fast, and at this point “Wherever You Will Go” is as memorable for being a hit as it is for Mad TV’s sketch making fun of the video.

But for me Camino Palmero will remain a key moment in my musical history, the first time I heard a band before they were cool. This poses the question of whether or not they were cool to begin with, but let’s save that for another day.

The Calling – Wherever You Will Go [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==