Tonight marked the announcement of the nominees for the 53rd Annual Grammy Awards. For years (for argument’s sake, let’s say the last 52 years) have been marred by claims that Grammy voters are out of touch and more interested in giving long overdue awards to the greats of yore than celebrating who made the best music of right now. Then last year came around and the ratings grab awards ceremony takes a hard left, showering Taylor Swift in praise and making us all wonder who really thinks The Black Eyed Peas are a musically legitimate anything.
So what will this year hold? Well, we know that for the next hour or so we’ll be granted a performance by host LL Cool J (who, incidentally, hasn’t had a significant presence on the charts since 2002. But alas, CBS’s desire for self-promotion trumps all), Katy Perry (really, any joke I put in here will have been told by at least 3 other bloggers), Justin B**b*r (for whom my remote’s mute button is on a hair trigger), and who knows who else. So join me as I wade through this little would-be, oh-please-God-CBS-hopes-so spectacle.
9:47 PM: …the broadcast hasn’t started yet. I’m watching a particularly forgettable episode of NCIS. But while we’re here, a quick rundown of albums and bands I’m hoping against hope will come up at some point tonight:
- Eminem – Recovery
- Them Crooked Vultures – Them Crooked Vultures
- The Black Keys – Brothers
- The Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
- Fitz and the Tantrums – Pickin’ Up The Pieces
- Free Energy – Stuck On Nothing
- The Gaslight Anthem – American Slang
- Paramore – brand new eyes
And many others I’m going to kick myself for forgetting right now.
9:57 PM: Switched to CBS, and let the record show I’m already tired of Christmas-y commercials telling me to go to Department Store X or buy Car Brand Y.
9:58: Morgan Freeman ad for St. Judes. He was trending on Twitter today and I got scared because I thought he died. Then I remembered he’s God, and thus can’t die.
10:00: LL Cool J does the intro, touting “one of the most competitive races in years”. …um…
10:01: Katy Perry does “California Gurls”, a song I’ve resigned myself to slotting for a Best Pop Song nomination. Also, getting a serious Robin Sparkles vibe from this performance. All it’s missing is the robot.
(If you don’t get that reference, I command you to start watching How I Met Your Mother.)
10:03: Yeah, they programmed the AutoTune about 45 seconds too late on that one. WOOF.
10:05: NCIS: LA was the last thing referenced. I admire the show of restraint. And “Empire State of Mind” plays in the background. I’m not sure I buy that as Record or Song of the Year.
And up comes Bruno Mars, of whom my knowledge begins and ends with “Nothin’ On You”. Oh, and the drug arrest.
10:06 Not a terrible performance, I suppose. And The Grammys Twitter account (I’m not linking to it…you’re better off this way) says that Dave Grohl will be revealing the first batch of nominees. Good to see him keeping busy.
10:08: And because it needs to be said…. Bruno Mars < Billy Joel. There.
10:09: Dave Grohl out for Song of the Year. The nominees:
- Ray LaMontagne – “Beg Steal Borrow”
- Cee-Lo – “Fuck You”
- Miranda Lambert – “The House That Built Me”
- Eminem feat. Rihanna – “Love the Way You Lie”
- Lady Antebellum – “Need You Now”
Not a terrible start. But if we’re going to keep referring to Cee-Lo’s song as “The Song Otherwise Known As Forget You”, so help me God I’ll punch something. Glad to see Eminem getting respect for “Love the Way You Lie”, but something worries me. I see three fairly safe, unimaginative choices, one gutsy one, and one gutsy song that’s been neutered within an inch of its life. I’m praying for one of the latter two (preferably the one that isn’t neutered), but that Lady Antebellum song, decent as it might be, is looking like a mighty easy choice.
10:16: Train has somehow made “Hey Soul Sister” even more unbearable. And with that we have our first mute of the night. I would get angry about hearing this song, but I have a sickening feeling I’m going to have far more reasons to get mad before tonight is through.
10:19: My snarkiness means I accidentally left Hayley Williams muted. Oops. She’s unveiling Best New Artist.
10:21 The Best New Artist:
- Justin B**b*r
- Drake
- Florence + The Machine
- Mumford + Sons
- Esperanza Spaulding
KHAAAAAAAAANNNNN! I suppose hoping for a Free Energy appearance was a pipe dream, but, still!
10:21: LL Cool J interviewing Justin B**b*r, who has nothing to say. Doesn’t he know Taylor Swift has the market cornered on speechlessness? [Edited after the fact for unsafe JB reference. Hope i didn't catch anything contagious]
10:22 Miranda Lambert performing “Only Prettier”. I kinda dug her album when I heard it late last year, but I forgot it not long after hearing it. Which means it coming up frequently tonight was inevitable.
10:25: 25 minutes in, 2 awards announced. Good to know this show is focused and dedicated to giving people what they want. Wait…
10:27: Adjusted Album of the Year predictions:
- Miranda Lambert
- Justin B**b*r
- Jay-Z
- Florence + The Machine
- Unknown Dark Horse
10:31: FYI: I’ll cover as many of the other nominees as possible tomorrow. And here comes B**b*r…and I’m showing the restraint and not hitting the mute button.
10:32: I’m calling foul. There’s no way the crowd is that quiet.
10:33 Nevermind. Estimated number of tortured parents at that performance? 1500. And that’s generous.
10:34 Stevie Wonder teasing Album of the Year, and earning the Most Entertaining Presenter Award.
10:35: Album of the Year:
- The Arcade Fire – The Suburbs
- Eminem – Recovery
- Lady Antebellum – Need You Now
- Lady Gaga – The Fame Monster
- Katy Perry – Teenage Dream
Great to see The Suburbs and Recovery on there. I’ve got a beef with Fame Monster showing up here though; it was at best a cash-grab to revitalize sales of The Fame. I’m not sure it counts as an album on its own. But there’s a bigger problem.
What the actual fuck is Katy Perry doing in that category?
Her album was at best tolerable. I don’t think I’ve willingly listened to a track from it since, save for when radio and TV shove “Firework” and “Teenage Dream” down my throat. If anything is in this conversation as a ratings ploy, it’s gotta be that.
My sincere hope is for The Arcade Fire. I didn’t love The Suburbs as much as some, but I think that’d be the biggest win, and show a clear sign that mediocrity like Teenage Dream doesn’t belong. It was good to see Eminem in here, but I think he’s still got an uphill battle to go with Grammy voters.
10:43 B.o.B. and Bruno Mars do the song from B.o.B’s album that wasn’t “Airplanes”.
Seriously, though. I want to like B.o.B., but I’ve yet to feel like he’s shown me something to get excited about (though I admit to having a guilty pleasure for “Magic”. Best thing Rivers Cuomo put his name on this year)
10:47: Craig Ferguson comes out to fill his contractual obligations to CBS. Best Female Country Vocal Performance.
- Jewel – Satisfied
- Miranda Lambert – House that Built Me
- LeAnn Rimes – Swingin’
- Carrie Underwood – Temporary home
- Gretchen Wilson – I’d Love to Be Your Lad
10:50 LL Cool J back for Record of the Year noiminess
- B.o.B. feat. Bruno Mars – Nothin’ on You
- Eminem/Rihanna – Love the Way You Lie
- Cee-Lo – Fuck You
- Jay-Z feat. Alicia Keys- Empire State of Mind
- Lady Antebellum – Need You Now
I’m smelling a potential housecleaning for Lady Antebellum. A shame, since they are the safest and least exciting of the artists on display here. I’m not-so-secretly hoping for a coup and seeing “Fuck You” win something. Would that be the most uncomfortable moment of television in years? I think so.
10:55 OK, quick research tells me The Fame Monster was released as a standalone, not just in conjunction with The Fame. Still not sold on its worthiness.
10:56 B.o.B. does the last song of the night…and again its not “Airplanes”….
…it’s “Don’t Let Me Fall”, also known as B.o.B’s attempt at proving he’s not just as good as his collaborative artist du jour.
Without seeing the complete list, my feelings on the nominees are mixed. I’m thrilled to see Eminem and The Arcade Fire getting some love, but there were too many other great releases this year that got shorted. We’ll see how I feel after the full list is announced, but in short, it looks like Grammy split the difference between the ratings grab of last year and the old folks club of years past.
I’ll be back tomorrow with thoughts on the complete list. In the meantime, sound off in yonder comment section about what you saw/heard.
Filed under: Music News Tagged: | Grammys
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I sure hope Lady Antebellum doesn’t make a sweep. That album was decent but it wasn’t amazing. I did have a soft spot for Need You Now for a while but it certainly doesn’t compare to some other songs. I’m with you though, happy to see Arcade Fire getting some love. Would also like so see “the song otherwise known as forget you” take atleast one.