Uncovering The Secret To Pop-Rock

So I was letting my mind wander for a bit while I was at work earlier today. And my train of thought led me to realize two potential outcomes:

1. I have found the secret to becoming a pop-rock sensation
2. Matchbox 20 and Maroon 5 are actually the same band participating in an elaborate ruse to score twice as much fame as the average band

Consider the following. Prior to their success in the mid-90s, Matchbox 20 frontman Rob Thomas and two of his future mates in Matchbox 20 recorded a pair of albums under the name Tabitha’s Secret. The core members of that band became Matchbox 20, released a wildly successful debut album and a few (less) successful follow-up albums, and Thomas has established himself as a solo artist.

Now consider this. Prior to their success in the early-00s, Maroon 5 frontman Adam Levine and three of his future mates in Maroon 5 recorded an album under the name Kara’s Flowers. The core members of that band became Maroon 5 and released a wildly successful debut album and a (less) successful follow-up, and Adam Levine has implied that Maroon 5 may only have one more album left in them, paving the way for Levine to establish himself as a solo artist.

See what I’m getting at? Matchbox 20 and Maroon 5 have CLEARLY discovered the formula for becoming successful acts! Observe:

1. Form a starter band with a few expendable guys and a couple other guys who are going to be your core group. Name your band some variation of the following: (Girls Name)’s (Noun). Examples: Jessica’s Porch, Melanie’s Bookmark, etc.
2. That band will almost inevitably fail. It’s OK; all part of the plan. Take the core group from this band and create a new group (the fate of your expendable bandmates from the now-defunct band is irrelevant). This group should be named thusly: (Noun starting with Letter M) (Number). Examples: Mulberry 17, Mailbox 42.
3. If you are the frontman of the group, stick with the band till your sufficiently famous that people will know your name, then release a solo album full of songs too good to share with the rest of your band. If you’re not the frontman, use the leader’s solo period to chill out and spend your share of the cash from your successes. Be careful though, ’cause you never know if you’ll get back together for another album.

So there you have it. Be sure to thank me in your liner notes.

Matchbox 20 – 3 AM [iTunes] (YSI)
Maroon 5 – This Love [iTunes] (YSI)

==TJ==